一个只玩过《使命召唤》的17岁美国宅男，在Facebook上把自己描述成一个海豹六队的退役队员，他在网上晒了很多专业用语和训练内幕，以及他“训练和执行任务”时的照片。

　　万万没想到由于过于逼真和惹眼竟然引起了“基地”组织在美国的下属团体的注意，这些成员通过技术手段定位了他的上网地点将其绑架，并作为重要收获将其送至也门。

　　少年在一个地下室受到严刑拷打，什么都招了可还是没说出半点儿有价值的美军情报。恐怖份子因此认定他是受过专业特殊训练的突击队成员，还以为这名少年的无知只是在装傻所以继续逼供……

　　最后这名少年被整整一个排的真海豹部队救了出来，人还活着，上帝保佑。

　　下面是把他救出来的海豹队员说的话：

　　“When we checked Mr. Munroe’s Facebook, we discovered an extensively crafted profile outlining him as being a member of the dissolved SEAL Team Six,” said Lieutenant Commander Charles Aimes. “It even came with a full set of pictures including one fast-roping out of a Blackhawk helicopter, which on closer observation was actually hi***iding down a playground fire pole in air soft garb with a Blackhawk photoshopped into the background. It would have had even me convinced except for that fact that I know that no real Navy SEAL is ****ing dumb enough to put this on Facebook。”

　　“当我们检查Munroe先生的Facebook主页时，我们发现了一个被仔细造假的个人档案，宣传他是海豹六队的成员，甚至还有一套从黑鹰直升机上绳降的照片，如果你仔细看的话可以看出是他从WG场地的一根爬杆上往下滑，黑鹰直升机是被软件加到背景里的。要不是我很确定没有真的海豹队员会二到把这些放到FB上去的话连我都信了。”——参与调查的海豹部队技术人员(少校)，Charles Aimes

　　“These shit-brained keyboard commandos think it’s really cool and bad-ass to act like special operations forces,” said Chief John, “They don’t seem to be down with ****ing reality where terrorists are actively trying to carry out reprisals against us。”

　　“这些脑子进屎的键盘突击队认为宣传自己是特种部队成员很好玩，他们似乎傻到意识不到恐怖分子正在试图打击报复我们。”——Chief John(参与营救任务的队员)

　　“It probably seemed like all fun and games for him in Call Of Duty,” said Team Commander Lieutenant Andy, “Though shit gets real pretty ****ing fast when some asshole goes to clamp a pair of booster cables to your junk… ”

　　“可能对他来说装兵很好玩。不过没料到，很快有人找上门来给他的小鸡鸡接上电夹了……”——参与此次营救任务的海豹队员Andy如是说。

编辑：弥可